Empire Extreme while at the Warped Tour stop in Baltimore Maryland tracked down intergalactic overlords Beefcake the Almighty and Pustulus Maximus of GWAR and before they could realize that I have been tricking them into the interview with hopes of much blood, chaos and Old Bay Seasoning, I needed to act fast while securing that my head won’t be on the menu tonight.

Empire: This is your first Warped Tour, How’s it been going so far?
BC: It is?
PM: I can’t wait for it to be over.
BC: it’s all a blur.

Empire: I seen that you guys just opened up for some comic books?
BC: Opened up for them? Ya they play right after us.
Empire: I meant just came out with some comic books…
PM: well we are trying to head off trumps new America at the path. The way it is with books and literacy. Once Nancy, Betsy, duvas whatever her name is fucks up the education system, we got to have picture books.
Empire: Has everyone been buying the comic books?
BC: Yes….
Empire: Will you kill them if they don’t?
BC: Yes….
PM: I’ll kill them even if they do buy it

Empire: So let’s talk about Kathy Griffin.
BC: We really don’t give a shit about Kathy just like most people.
PM: She’s a back peddler
BC: She’s also a bit stealer, like most comedians nowadays. Stealing our bits, you know we did that first.
PM: She’s like a sad. Sad. Version of Amy Schumer. Gwar has decapitated presidents, political figures, children, and we have never apologized for it once.
BC: We don’t even know what that means. We can’t do wrong, we are deities.
PM: We didn’t apologize for Jon Benet Ramsey’s rape, so we’re not going to for a president.

Empire: You guys have a new album coming out soon, will there be any songs that Oderus wrote on it?
PM: It’s got 12 songs that Oderus didn’t write, because according to the internet Oderus wrote all of Gwars music.Drums, Guitars all of it. So this is a brand new endeavor. To hear what we sound like when we’re half dry. I blacked out halfway in, so it’s probualy going to be pretty cool.
BC: It doesn’t take us any effort to write music, we invented music. We just wake up and shit out music, it’s no big deal.

Empire: Is Gwar doing the AV club again this year?
BC: Yes unfortunately, but I have no idea what we are doing so don’t ask.
PM: Let’s do a song by a band with skinny dudes who wear really long shirts and roll the cuff of there jeans over the ankle. That seems to be great music.
BC: I want to do that Dolly Parton song.
Empire: Which one would you do?
BC: 9-5

Empire: Does Gwar plan on destroying the Earth before Trump can do it?
BC: We don’t plan. I think it’s going to be an accident. Oops I destroyed the whole world.. sorry. But we don’t apologize. So sorry not sorry.

Empire: Have you ever crossed intergalactic paths with Valient Thorr since they are from Venus?
BC: They ain’t from Venus (laughs) ya we crossed paths once or twice.

Empire: If you can bring back any metal band that’s been dead, who would it be?
PM: The Ramones, because metal is fucking stupid.
BC: I second that. I would kill marky since he’s not dead yet.

And just like that I happened to sneak out of the room before they noticed me so that I can another day. When GWAR was ready to destroy the fans on the Mutant South Stage the hordes and hordes of fans lined up willing to be drenched in the blood of those that GWAR will sacrifice on the stage tonight.

About Author

Ron

Ron has keen eye for new talent, a love for the underground, and a tremendous passion for music of any genera. You’ll probably bump into him at a horror convention or some seedy club checking out the next need-to-know band.

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